The Unofficial Rules of Virtual Meetings

After years of virtual meetings, we thought we had seen it all. We were wrong. So very wrong.

This list is not theoretical. It’s not based on rumors. It is drawn from real, live, cannot-unsee experiences. Consider this a public service announcement, delivered with love, humor, and just a little bit of trauma.

DO: Make Sure You’re Fully Dressed

Yes, even if you “won’t be standing up.”

Yes, even if you swear the camera can’t see that far.

Trust us. Pants are not optional. Ever.

DON’T: Change Clothes on Camera During a Break

Break does not mean “camera off.”

Muted does not mean “invisible.”

And yes, this has happened. More than once. During breaks in virtual focus group exercises, we have seen an unfortunate assortment of unintended on-camera moments from mock jurors. While it provides plenty of post-session stories on our end, we’re confident it was far less amusing for those involved.

DO: Remember That Many Meetings Are Being Recorded

This is important, so we’ll say it again. A lot of meetings are being recorded.

What you do and what you say may live on forever in a shared drive somewhere, waiting to resurface at the worst possible time. Act accordingly.

DON’T: Assume Your Background Is Invisible

Everyone can see:

• Your bedroom

• Your laundry

• Your naked child sprinting across the screen like an Olympic athlete

A quick background check saves everyone from unnecessary memories.

DO: Check Your Camera Angle

No one needs:

• A dramatic view up your nose

• To know that you have chin hair because your camera is so close to your face

• A camera angle that suggests your laptop fell off a table

Eye level is your friend.

DON’T: Eat on the Call

No matter how charming you think you are:

• Chewing is amplified

• Crunching is aggressive

• Watching someone eat is never the vibe

Please finish lunch before you log on.

DO: Mute Yourself When You’re Not Talking

This includes:

• Side conversations

• Keyboard pounding

• Unplanned background chaos

Mute is a kindness. Use it freely.

DON’T: Forget You’re Still on Camera

If you wouldn’t do it in a conference room, don’t do it on Zoom:

• Multi-screen scrolling

• Visible texting

• Making faces you think no one can see

• Smoking or Vaping (and yes! We’ve seen focus group jurors doing all of these things!)

Virtual is not anonymous.

DO: Test Your Tech Before the Meeting

We love a good entrance, but not the five-minute kind where:

• Audio doesn’t work

• Video won’t turn on

• Everyone hears you ask, “Can you hear me?”

DON’T: Let Background Characters Steal the Show

We adore kids, pets, and partners. We just don’t need surprise appearances during professional meetings.

Virtual meetings are here to stay. With a little awareness (and a healthy respect for the record button) we can all avoid becoming that story someone tells later.

Because trust us… we’ve seen things.

‍

‍